Everything changes...

From: tara
Date: Mon, Apr 28, 2008 at 3:15 PM
Subject: Your blog

is my procrastination. and is not being updated frequently enough to
distract me from the horrors of law school exams.

.....................

Sorry I haven't been updating much as of late. I will get on it.

Lots of stuff has been happening lately. Kind of bummed out and lost the will to blog.

But I know it is important for all you bored office people. And for my own self-reflection...

So here we go.

.........................

Brianne and Alex moved to San Francisco this weekend. (Alex will be working for YouTube.)

They are going to have a wonderful wonderful life.

We had a little farewell party at the Gas Lite to see them off.







I think the Gas Lite is done and it's time for it to be retired. The regulars are always there and annoying and gross. They hogged the stage. None of us sang.

Also I scratched my car on a brick wall while dumbass-ed-ly pulling into a non-parking spot.



Total bummer.

............................

Los Angeles is the city people go to and figure out what they want to do with their lives.

It is the perfect place for it.

There's so much opportunity. So much possibility. And everything can change overnight.

Some people get launched into the stratosphere. Some people come. Figure themselves out. And then move on.

Countless people have come and gone.

Poopshid was the first... Then Felix... Goony... TL... Big willie style... Now Bralex...

And Smershy......oh Smershy...

.........................

A lot has changed lately.

And I've been thinking a lot. About life. Where I am. And where I'm going.

Maybe this is quarterlife #2.

I had a mini-quarterlife crisis a few years back at the end of '05. If you've been on this ride with me for a while, you may remember. The Details article I think touched upon it.

Here I am. Two and a half years after my first quarter-life crisis.

I call myself a "professional" photographer and I can back that up with a pretty cool portfolio. It happened faster than I expected.

I work from anywhere. Make a decent amount of money. And work 3 or 4 hours a day. If that.

I get to travel. See my friends near and far. And I have the stress level of a happy cow in a field on a warm day.

It's awesome and I'm definitely not complaining. And shouldn't be. I know.

But as anyone who's ever gotten a raise or promotion will tell you, you adjust to your new and improved circumstances quickly. There's always more you can be doing. More you can be making. Other things to see, do, accomplish.

I live in LA and I'm part of this insane world of privileged, over-ambitious, over-educated people. We're never satisfied and we're not going to stop even when we've achieved world domination. We've been exposed to the world and there is no limit to what we can accomplish. And it is terrifying when you feel like you're not doing enough with what you've been blessed with and you're not achieving your full potential.

People are heading off to bigger and better jobs. Taking off for business school. Becoming doctors/lawyers. Getting engaged and married. And I've got my routine going, but I feel myself plateau-ing.

So that's the angst I'm feeling right now.

As I look around me and see everyone move upward and onward... I feel like it's time to step up my game.

So what I've been thinking these past few days is my move into fashion photography.

I've never been formally trained. And sometimes I feel like a hack. Even though I know my work is decent.

The next level...

I want to be Annie Leibovitz... Or Mario Testino... Or David LaChappelle...but without the alleged sketchiness. (Ask Oliver.)

I want to spend the summer in NYC. Take studio lighting and fashion photography classes.

And keep doing the headshot gigs to pay for all of it. (I seem to get much more business on the east coast.)

I'm eternally torn between LA and New York.

The grass is always greener.

...................

I know whatever I decide will be the right decision.

But right now, it's kind of bumming me out and I'm scared and confused.

...also it is REALLY REALLY hot right now.

I prefer snow.

AHhHHHHhHHHHH!!!!

Oh my god I am twenty-four years old.

That is so terrifying.

Assistant Butler!!!!

Just got back from my meeting/interview with Daniel the Butler.

So the job is working as the Personal Assistant to a major fashion industry player. He was still vague about who exactly she is.

What I do know is this:

1. She travels to fashion shows around the world constantly.
2. Her husband is a major real estate developer.
3. They live in a 27,000 sq. ft house in Beverly Hills.
4. They have a full-time butler, 2 gardeners, cook, 2 maids, and a laudry-woman.
5. She had a "Chanel Meeting" at the house today.
He was very excited about me because of my relationship with Hong Kong (apparently the woman lived there for a while and loves it).
6. She and her husband are constantly voted "Best Dressed in Beverly Hills" in some magazines.
7. They had a recent Chanel Party where models rode around on a train which circles their entire property.

The only drawback is they are very European and do not believe in forming relationships with their "help". There is a clear line between employer and employee.

That's the one thing that bothers me. I'm definitely looking for a mentor.

But...I feel like I will meet TONS of important people which might be useful in the future. And it's a 9 to 5 job, with occasional work on the weekends if they're throwing a big party or something.

And they had absolutely no problem with my salary requirements (which I posted as $40,000 on Monster).

But now that I think they think I'm such a good candidate, I think I'm going to try to create a fake bidding war. I honestly don't really want to work for an unfriendly boss. So I think I'm going to make this fun and see how much I can milk out of them. I already told Daniel I have other interviews this week. I think I'm going to tell him in a couple days that I've been offered a position for $55,000 and see if they're willing to match or beat that. (Plus health benefits, transportation costs, etc.)

Hmmmmmm....

Assistant Butler?

So I got a call tonight from a dude who pulled my resume of monster.com.

His name is Daniel, he has a british accent, and he is the estate manager (butler) for an individual whose identity he cannot reveal (until he meets me tomorrow, I think).

His boss is looking for a personal assistant person. Could be a celebrity. Could be just someone ridiculously wealthy and powerful.

Either way I am kind of excited to see what it's all about. And then tomorrow night I'm meeting with Bjoern.

Took a pretty new headshot for Meghan today. The rainyness really helps.

Well that was stupid.

I woke up at 8 this morning to go to my new "internship" (AKA working in this "photographer's" studio/apartment doing stupid-ass shit.)

Basically I took little stickies and helped him index all his print outs on wedding photography info and photoshopped a couple of shots he's taken recently "for practice".

The man was weird. Had no social skills. And is 30-something living in a rented apartment. And he was scary looking.

At least I'm done for the day. I think I will call him and lie that I've found a job.

Hopefully things go better with Bjoern tomorrow. He seems more successful. But if all the photographers I meet end up being old and poor, I think I'll have to rethink my gameplan.

Jobs on the horizon!!!

So I've realized that the best way to look for jobs is to find out where you want to work, and apply without even knowing if they are looking for anyone.

Out of 8 emails I've sent to photographers, I've now received 8 responses.

Even if they are just to say, "sorry, we're not looking for anyone right now". At least they're responses! When you apply to things on craigslist or on anything else, you NEVER get responses. So a big shout out to Ginger for giving me the Headshot Directory from which I've been conducting my recent job search.

Today was an incredible day.

First, I worked out. Then I spent the morning catching up with the wonderful Laura Martin, on a break from the cockroach-infested bathing-in-the-river-fest that is Nicaragua. She's been there a year now and will be there another year, working for her non-profit. It was lovely to talk to her and catch up. Weird how people take such different paths in life and still have so much to talk about and people to make fun of.

Also talked to the wonderful Kathryn Cohen. On IM. But still nice.

I have added them to the cast since hopefully we will see each other in the next month or two.

Anyway. Jobs.

So following my two lovely conversations, I received three emails. One from Mark Atteberry of Idyllic Photography:

Hey Dennis,

Thanks for the inquiry and interest in working with me. Sadly, at the
moment I am not looking for an assistant, I just took a new one on. But
that could change. I have recently started a whole new branch to my
photography business and I am eager to see what happens. I am going to
keep your info on file, if you don't mind. It sounds like you have some
great skills going for you.

Mark Atteberry

One from Juliet of www.theoandjuliet.com (their work looks great, but I don't know about working for another husband/wife team):

Dear Dennis:

thank you for your email.
we are not currently looking for anyone.
however, we were planning for a new office assistant after the new year.
if you haven't found new spot by then. we'd be glad to have an
interview. our needs are more for a personal/ office assistant who
works on the computer/phones for us...rather than a studio/photo
assistant.
you sound well matched to our needs based on your last job..we need our
office overhauled...and have a lot of photo/computer work.
we also need someone who is sharp with great phone skills.
keep us posted after january 5th..if you haven't found a full time job
yet. we are flexible with hours .....

thanks,

juliet

And finally one from Bjoern Kommerell (www.bkheadshots.com), who was actually my first pick!

Are you in LA, Dennis? If yes, let's meet!
Call me @ (323)650-XXXX.

Cheers

Bjoern

I am going to call him right now. Crossing my fingers!!! His work is so amazing.

Cool Jobs

Applied to a bunch of neat sounding jobs today:

Jr. Publicist at a boutique marketing/imaging firm in Westwood with fashion and entertainment clients.
- Write press releases, pitch stories, work with clients, design marketing materials. Work on promotional events. Assist Executive Director.

Assistant Art Director at a photo studio
-Assist photographer and production artists to create images for website and catalog. Duties will include styling, setup, prepping images (clipping paths, color correx) in Photoshop. Successful applicant will have some familiarity with the Mac and Photoshop.

Talent assistant
-Well-established, well respected boutique talent and literary agency seeking experienced full-time assistant for head of theatrical. Candidate will deal directly with actors, casting directors and managers on a busy desk with heavy phones. Ideal candidate must be extremely responsible, organized, self disciplined, and able to multi task. Wonderful opportunity for right person.

And now for the crown jewel:

VP at Darren Star Productions is looking for a great assistant … friendly (and smart) boss, willing to mentor, on the Sony lot.

Off to lunch with Emily. Hopefully I'll get a response or two.

Yay!

My night from hell.

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCKITTY FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCKERTON FUCK

We went to a nice dinner. Me, Katie, Meghan, Evan. Waited a good 35 minutes to be seated for a reservation we showed up on time for.

Got a tip from Christian that Victoria is having a party. We go there. And of course it is a private dinner party. Feel very awkward. Wonderful hostess Victoria welcomes us . We chat and exchange pleasantries. Minutes later we realize that it is actually a BIRTHDAY dinner party. Worse, it is VICTORIA's birthday party. We realize this as they start singing and bring out a birthday cake. We have been greeted and welcomed and have failed to wish our hostess a happy birthday. Awkwardness increases exponentially. Throw in a little post-hookup/oops-my-ex-boyfriend-is-standing-at-my-side tension between two friends and I can now officially welcome you to the most uncomfortable moment of my entire life.

Felt horrible. Apologized to Victoria. Left the party. I suck.

Drive to Bar Marmont to meet up with Naia. Find a moderately sweet parking space a few blocks away. Wait in line for half an hour. Naia finally comes and gets us in.

Bar is ok, kind of small. And sweaty.

Have a drink. Leave around 1.

Walk back to the car.

It has been towed.

TOWED.

Hollywood Fucking Department of Transportation says no parking after midnight on Sunset. FUCK FUCKKITY FUCK FUCK FUCK

Take a cab to Hollywood tow. Retrieve my car. Damage is $177.

Little dude in a golf cart drives me to my car. Get in. There's a fucking parking ticket on my windshield. 45 fucking dollars.

I can't deal with this right now. Excuse me. Hi. Yeah. I'm UNEMPLOYED.

I wish I could tell you I drove straight from there into a brick wall and died a horrible screaming death. But alas I am not suicidal. Yet.

It has been a fucking shitty-ass week. Understatement of the century.

My karma must be so very bad right now. I think I should go adopt a one-armed orphan or something. I am actually fearing for my life. This might possibly be the week that I die. Airplane debris is just going to fall from the sky and impale me from skull to sternum.

Hold me.

Headshots!

So Meredith's new headshots have inspired me.

I am dead set on perfecting my headshot photography. I picked up a bunch of books on lighting, portrait photography, and photoshop. This is my quest. With Meredith as my muse. I am going to be a headshot photographer. And then fashion. And then the world.

Been searching for a job as an office manager/assistant/photo-retoucher for a photographer/studio. Please let me know if you have any leads.

I love it too much to not pursue it. I appreciate beautiful things and people too much. Who doesn't love beauty?

I mean, can you really deny the fact that this is just beautiful?



Photo by Travis Tanner
www.travistanner.com

A new beginning.

I got fired today.

Yes. It is true.

F-f-f-f-fired.

It was an unfortunate blogging incident.

Packed up my things and left.

Cried a little bit in my car like a girl.

It happened in the span of two hours.

The old blog has been shut down. Here begins a new one.

Very very sad. For legal reasons I probably shouldn't explain. But it's done.

I am unemployed.

I have very mixed feelings about it all. It's kind of my fault. And I understand why I had to be fired. Kind of. I AM glad to have free time again. Finally. It wasn't a hostile firing. It was just what needed to be done. We parted with hugs.

So I guess I'm going to read. Watch movies. Learn about photography. Work out. Play tennis.

Spent the afternoon on the beach with KG. Very glad to see him and Heidi. I wasn't originally going to get to see KG on his supershort visit, since he was only in town for one day. But I guess everything happens for a reason. And that worked out. So yay.

And the funniest part is, my boss called me about four hours post-firing while I was eating a delicious fried lunch on the beach and said, "Uh...I don't know how to burn DVDs..." And I had to talk him through it on the phone.

Everything happens for a reason.

(deep breath)