OK now you are SERIOUSLY not going to believe this...
I got in a fight with Sandra yesterday.
Not a fight. But basically I finally told her how I feel about our relationship and how we can hopefully fix it.
Today I felt like I had been harsh. I don't regret my decision to tell her off. But I felt like maybe she was going to take my words and actually listen.
So...I decided to do something nice and buy two more Spice Girls tickets for her and Steph.
They were overjoyed.
-------------------------
I called Steph to tell her while I was at Best Buy.
I had decided to go to Best Buy to pick up a copy of Spice World since everything right now is revolving around this Spice Girls mayhem.
Got to the checkout counter and the total came to $14.06.
I had the remainder of the gift card my mom or someone gave me. The remaining balance?
$14.06.
Insanity. The fact that there was just enough left floored both me and the checkout lady.
She was like, "That never happens." And totally thought there was a mistake.
Clearly it wasn't.
I called everyone and told them this (they still think I'm on crack, and for good reason). I was like, "we're going to get pulled onstage or something...and then win the lottery."
AHHHHhhh....the lottery...
14. 06.
CLEARLY we have to play the lottery.
---------------------------------
I went to Pavilions to buy my lottery tickets.
8 for good luck. 4 Mega Millions. 4 Super Lotto Plus.
I had them quick picked. But for the mega numbers I used either 14 or 06.
I told the nice lady that sold it to me I would give her $1000 if I won.
She laughed and wished me good luck.
I started walking out. Then realized that I was a total cheap-ass.
I went back and told her if I won I would give her $10,000.
She said, "You're going to win."
I left to get a burrito.
--------------------------------------
On my way to LA Buns. I passed a bum.
I gave him the $2 I got for change from the lottery purchase and instructed him to tell me I was going to win the lottery.
After rambling on about how lightning cures AIDS or something, he finally understood me enough to say, "You're going to win."
--------------------------------------
I got to LA Buns. Bought a burrito.
At first I didn't want the receipt. But then the guy kept waving at me. So I took it.
On the receipt...oh my fucking god.
On the receipt...my change...was $14.60.
NOT $14.06, but really it's the same numbers.
---------------------------------------
So dear reader, here's where you come in.
Leave me some love via comment post (down at the bottom of this entry) and leave your contact info unless I already know you.
If we win the lottery, Kristy and I are going to split 1% of our winnings among everyone who comments before 12am tomorrow night.
Say something witty, nice, or just wish us luck.
And if you want, go buy a lottery ticket.
Use the numbers 14 and 6 as your quick pick mega numbers.
If you win, you must give me 50%. (I believe in karma, and so should you. Screw me over and I'm sorry for what's going to happen to you.)
I've always known I was destined to win the lottery.
Seriously. Every time I buy one, I say it's only a matter of time.
If you look back at this ridiculous week, you will see it was meant to happen.
(Or we will all just feel really silly Saturday morning).
Oh...and listen to the Spice Girls at every possible moment.
And now I am going to eat every single bite of this magical burrito. Including the peppers I did not ask for.
Oh...and of course...
Not a fight. But basically I finally told her how I feel about our relationship and how we can hopefully fix it.
Today I felt like I had been harsh. I don't regret my decision to tell her off. But I felt like maybe she was going to take my words and actually listen.
So...I decided to do something nice and buy two more Spice Girls tickets for her and Steph.
They were overjoyed.
-------------------------
I called Steph to tell her while I was at Best Buy.
I had decided to go to Best Buy to pick up a copy of Spice World since everything right now is revolving around this Spice Girls mayhem.
Got to the checkout counter and the total came to $14.06.
I had the remainder of the gift card my mom or someone gave me. The remaining balance?
$14.06.
Insanity. The fact that there was just enough left floored both me and the checkout lady.
She was like, "That never happens." And totally thought there was a mistake.
Clearly it wasn't.
I called everyone and told them this (they still think I'm on crack, and for good reason). I was like, "we're going to get pulled onstage or something...and then win the lottery."
AHHHHhhh....the lottery...
14. 06.
CLEARLY we have to play the lottery.
---------------------------------
I went to Pavilions to buy my lottery tickets.
8 for good luck. 4 Mega Millions. 4 Super Lotto Plus.
I had them quick picked. But for the mega numbers I used either 14 or 06.
I told the nice lady that sold it to me I would give her $1000 if I won.
She laughed and wished me good luck.
I started walking out. Then realized that I was a total cheap-ass.
I went back and told her if I won I would give her $10,000.
She said, "You're going to win."
I left to get a burrito.
--------------------------------------
On my way to LA Buns. I passed a bum.
I gave him the $2 I got for change from the lottery purchase and instructed him to tell me I was going to win the lottery.
After rambling on about how lightning cures AIDS or something, he finally understood me enough to say, "You're going to win."
--------------------------------------
I got to LA Buns. Bought a burrito.
At first I didn't want the receipt. But then the guy kept waving at me. So I took it.
On the receipt...oh my fucking god.
On the receipt...my change...was $14.60.
NOT $14.06, but really it's the same numbers.
---------------------------------------
So dear reader, here's where you come in.
Leave me some love via comment post (down at the bottom of this entry) and leave your contact info unless I already know you.
If we win the lottery, Kristy and I are going to split 1% of our winnings among everyone who comments before 12am tomorrow night.
Say something witty, nice, or just wish us luck.
And if you want, go buy a lottery ticket.
Use the numbers 14 and 6 as your quick pick mega numbers.
If you win, you must give me 50%. (I believe in karma, and so should you. Screw me over and I'm sorry for what's going to happen to you.)
I've always known I was destined to win the lottery.
Seriously. Every time I buy one, I say it's only a matter of time.
If you look back at this ridiculous week, you will see it was meant to happen.
(Or we will all just feel really silly Saturday morning).
Oh...and listen to the Spice Girls at every possible moment.
And now I am going to eat every single bite of this magical burrito. Including the peppers I did not ask for.
Oh...and of course...
Labels: like omg, lottery mayhem
posted by Dennis at 7:39 PM
24 Comments:
While there is still some suspicion as to your meth intake, i will not spoil this wonderful high you've been riding. To NatChan!
-your roommate (non-woodland)
buy me a PIZZA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am only doing this to guarantee my 1%
Silly. Everyone who comments SHARES the 1%.
If jackpot is $100 million. You all share $1 million.
DK, funny, because 0416 has special relevance to me, as it is my birthday. This is another combination of your magic ticket #s. So here's to big money. And added birthday magic.
Love ya.
D'rick
i will cure childhood obesity with my share
In the 7th grade, the combo to my locker was 4-16-0. Not $14.06, but it is the same numbers just like that magical burrito.
Oh weirder, I started 7th grade in September of '92, is that 16 years, 4 months ago?!?
Also, did you figure any meaning to those peppers in the burrito you didn't order? Wasn't the name of the Spice Girl that died right before the 1st album came out called Pepper Spice?
Gimme some 1%, and I will take a very little pinch of the crackrock too.
with my eighth of a million i promise to visit LA once a month.
and also to get a personal trainer.
so now do I get to share in the 1% AND my 50%? ;o)
I think I'm going to open an animal shelter and employ my sister.
childhood obesity? YUCK!
With my 1% Im gonna buy a robot and a dalmation.
Dear Dennis & Kristy,
I believe.
Love,
Rach
Your blogs make me so happy
=)
you're going to win!
xxoo,
VY
Dear Dennis,
This is a great honor. I feel I should do the right thing with my winnings. No matter how great the amount, I plan on spending my winnings on booze and prostitues. Good luck!
Love,
Anne
I forgo a share of the 1% in return for a promise that you will build a custom bubble for me and my SARS. Side note - that photo of you with the unicorn is one of the finest I've ever taken.
730pm Newark, NJ Prudential Center
"Say You'll Be There"
so I'd get 1% even though I'm your sister? :) if that's the case...I'll buy that land in Santorini to build a special Kwan place that I'll turn into a surprise...or just purchase a Cessna Citation X to fly family & friends around instead of using the airlines (you still haven't flown with me yet)
"I'm giving you everything all that joy can bring this I swear...And all that I want from you is a promise you will be there
Say you will be there (Say you will be there) Won't you sing it with me"
funny, i've been planning a work event out in SF and guess what day it's on....April muthaf-in 16th!
love,
steph
When you win the lottery, and you will, I will eat burritos and dance to the spice girls with you all day in the house I will buy with my $1 million.
That is ridiculous! Good luck with the lottery. I am a friend of a friend of yours and love reading your blog and living vicariously through you, and I figure if you win the lottery you will have even more splendiferous pictures to show and more parties for me to vicariously attend.
This comment has been removed by the author.
i'm in! fingers crossed
I want my ticket for France if you win!!
i really don't care about the one percent*, i'm just happy to finally be included in the cast. and no, dennis, i have not always been there.
*note to my (and dennis's) lawyer: in no way, shape or form should this statement be construed as relinquishing my right to said one percent.
here i go 1%
Post a Comment
<< Home