UNITED AIRLINES SUCKS MY ASS

So I've said it before and I'm going to keep saying it.

UNITED AIRLINES IS THE WORST AIRLINE IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD.

I fly them because they offer cheapo fares, but god they are SO awful.

So get this. I'm on my way to San Francisco this morning. I get to the check in two hours early and ask for an exit row seat.

Usually with other airlines they just give it to me. No problem. I'm tall. I clearly am not going to fit in a normal seat. They pity me. Whatever.

Yesterday I asked for an exit row and the gate agent said, "Sorry. We reserve these seats for 'upselling'. If you want to sit there it will be an extra $14."

It is ridiculous and I refuse to pay, yes because I'm cheap, but also because of the principle of having to pay for something that I would normally get for free.

So I'm like fine. It looks like a pretty empty flight. I'll just sit in a row that is almost empty so that I can spread out.

The plane boards.

They close the door. The exit row is available.

YES!!!!



I grab my stuff and move up a row.

Immediately the big gay flight attendant with a big gay attitude on a big gay power trip comes up to me and says, "I'm sorry sir. The exit row is reserved for 'upselling'. If you sit there, you have to pay an extra $14."

I blinked. Hard.



"Are you serious? There's nobody else sitting here!!!"

At this point the fucker turned into a bitchy automaton, saying, "I'm sorry sir. It is United Airlines' policy to reserve exit row seats for upselling. You are welcome to take up the issue with a customer service representative after your flight. But if you wish to sit here, it will be $14. Now please return to your seat."

"I DON'T FUCKING FIT IN THE REGULAR SEATS!!!!"

(Below is what my legs look like squashed in a regular coach seat.)



He just stared at me with a smug little grin with his hands on his hips and repeated, "Sir. Please return to your seat."

What a fuck fuck fuckitty fucker...



I went back to my seat.

..............

INFURIATING.

..............

I'm writing a strongly worded letter to customer service and if I don't get a free flight out of it I'm going to start firebombing.